Once in a while it is possible to plug in a USB cable the right way on the first try.
Not all Canadians are unnaturally friendly, and some never in their lives say, “Eh,” or, “Aboot.”
There’s at least 2 people alive to this day who still find Dane Cook funny.
Some Genji mains are actually very skilled players who don’t cry out for healing every time they see red in the distance.*
All small dogs flip their shit and bark at anything that moves.
This last one is actually the exception to the exception to the rule. It’s true that all small dogs flip their shit, and bark like lunatics at anything that moves.
Notice how the cats are completely content to just stare at the bird and daydream about how savory it would taste and what McNugget sauce would go best with it’s feathery meats. The dog, in typical small dog fashion, looses its mind and leaves chaos in its wake.
One time in high school, for a school play/drama club performance, I used a hair pick and more hair spray than the entire East Coast leg of an 80’s MetalMania tour to puff my hair into an afro to pretend I was a painter. There was no need to explain what painter I was trying to be, and nobody needed to ask. Everyone knew there was only one white guy in the history of forever who could pull off an afro:
Bob mutha-truckin Ross
Bob Ross was a gift to the world, and we weren’t good enough for him! We never did anything to deserve such awesome among us, and yet there he was.
His show, The Joy of Painting, consisted mainly of him standing in front of a blank canvas all by himself and talking to seemingly no one while he dabbed at his paints. If you stopped to watch for more than 1.2 seconds, his spell was upon you. The next 25 minutes of your life belonged to him, and you liked it!
Bob Ross owned your ass in the most calming, serene way possible. In addition, he had some of the most hilarious word choices and catch phrases imaginable. Chances are if you’re reading this you already know some of his more common sayings. ‘Happy little trees’ and ‘We don’t make mistakes, we have happy accidents’ are the two that first come to mind and make special appearances in the PBX autotune remix below.
If you’re like me, however, you have countless other quotes that bounce around in your head in his soothing voice. My personal favorite has always been, and I’m doing this from memory so it may be off a bit, “To paint a tree you have to think like a tree. Go out in your yard and talk to a tree. Make friends with a tree. Your neighbors may look at you funny, but tell them you’re an artist. They’ll understand.”
In addition to painting, his commentary often reflected his outlook on life and was always optimistic and encouraging. As proof, I offer up some of my favorite quotes from the list Katherine Brooks compiled over on Huffington Post.
Click to see my favorites after the jump, or go to Huffington Post for the full list.
First of all, shut up. Second of all, I played all these games when you were kneehigh to a grasshopper, you little whippersnapper, so don’t sass me when I get all nostalgic as I look over this list. At least, I would look over this list, if I could just find my damn trifocals… for my other trifocals.
GameSpot has put together a list of what they consider to be the top 26 games of 1997. Now I hardly even remember 1997, but I sure as hell don’t remember some of these games. Alundra? Is that even real?
Other games, like Goldeneye 007 and Final Fantasy VII, stand out as absolute classics and got hours upon hours (some would say months upon months, and we call those people ‘Honest’) of gameplay on my now retired old consoles.
Top5Central was nice enough to provide a list of places I hope to one day get arrested for enjoying.
This video features 5 water slides that are technically illegal, but not so illegal that there’s armed guards, murderbots, or sharks with friggin laser beams on their heads posted nearby.
So… ya know… how bad can they really be?
The challenge with all of these slides is naturally getting to them in the first place, but once you’re there the slides look amazing and are surrounded by some of the prettiest land you’ll ever trespass on while wearing a thong.
Get ready to add a few locations to your bucket list!
Did you ever hear a girl (or guy, who am I to judge?) at prom complaining about how someone else wore the same dress they did? Infuriating! How dare they? Dat bish! Naturally, the girl’s (or guy’s, equality yo!) friends would cluster around to reassure the wounded ego that they looked MUCH better in it than that other hussie. But that doesn’t ever happen in real life, does it?
Two Wonder Woman cosplayers at MEGACON had a similar face off, but there was no question about who wore it better.
Ken Jeong, actor, comedian, writer, and actual physician takes to YouTube to answer fan submitted Twitter questions. Ken, possibly best known for his role in The Hangover movies and Community, manages to squeeze in actual medical advice to answer some questions that are hard to tell if they’re real or not while still keeping it entertaining.
All would-be-ninjas, goth kids, and people who just look good in dark colors gather ’round. Have I got news for you!
Despite what Netflix has tried to tell you, orange is not the new black. Vantablack is the new black.
UK based Surrey NanoSystems has developed a new color that is able to absorb up to 99.965% of all light visible to humans. They’ve titled the color Vantablack, which is an acronym for Vertically Aligned NanoTube Arrays… black.
“Vantablack is composed of a forest of vertical tubes which are “grown” on a substrate using a modified chemical vapor deposition process (CVD). When light strikes Vantablack, instead of bouncing off, it becomes trapped and is continually deflected among the tubes, eventually becoming absorbed and dissipating into heat.”
Pictures of items painted in Vantablack look like there was a portion Photoshopped out of them, and poorly at that. Apparently the almost complete absence of light creates a black hole type visual that begs for the viewer to just dive on in*.
*Disclaimer: QTW does not encourage people to enact their favorite Looney Tunes moments by trying to drag this hole around and leap into like it’s a mouse hole in a wall. The objects are very real and you’ll only succeed in looking like a lunatic.
“It absorbs so much light that it is often referred to as the closest thing to a black hole humans will ever see.”
It’s hard to understand just how much light Vantablack absorbs, so let these reactions be an indicator of how disorienting it is to almost fall into a square of nothing.
Anyone who’s ever been stuck at an airport knows how boring it can be. If you’re lucky you might catch a seat near a hyperactive kid who keeps trying to run away, only to be repeatedly tackled by their parents who are doing their best to keep cool and not whoop the shit out of the kid in public. Aside from that, the wait can be mind-numbingly mundane.
Despite that, Instagram acrobats Dana Arnold, Nicholas Coolridge, and Travis Brewer found a way to have fun and entertain the people around the luggage carousel at the Prague Airport back in January.
Now be honest, you’ve always wanted to do something like this.
The trio, along with a few friends and random passerbys, are no strangers to doing random poses and balancing acts while out and about, or, “Oot and aboot,” for the Canadians reading this, eh.
Eeeee-mail, ooh aah, eeeee-mail
How do you type with boxing gloves on?
Homestar Runner dot net. It’s dot com!
If none of these quotes mean anything to you, strap in for the most life changing animated awesomeness you’ll ever experience.
No, it’s not a cartoon about skydiving robot ninjas on fire who are fighting vikings armed with machine guns that shoot smaller machine guns that shoot knives at them during a sharknado that just demolished Fort Knox so now there’s also gold bars are flying around. That would be crazy, why would you even think that?
In the early 2000’s preYouTube (yes, there was a time that Youtube wasn’t a thing) video hosting and content creation was a lot more labor intensive. Websites basically had to find ways to host their own content, and with file size restrictions that typically meant videos ended up being postage stamp sized bitmaped headaches.
A common way around this was to use Adobe Flash, which took vector animations and made them stay nice and crisp when enlarged. Some sites built themselves entirely in and around Flash. JoeCartoon.com, KillFrog.com, and AlbinoBlackSheep.com come to mind.
Homestar Runner became an internet nerd icon by setting themselves apart with two then unheard of and innovative practices:
1. It kept a regular update schedule.
At least one new video or game was uploaded each week. They also regularly created new home screens, merchandise, and desktop icons and wallpapers that were available to download for free.
2. Homestar Runner interacted with the community and absolutely nailed it with Strong Bad.
Every week, the lucha-libre masked, boxing gloved, bare-chested troublemaker would sit down at his ever-evolving-yet-always-behind-the-times computer and reply to an actual fan letter in a new unique cartoon. One of the most infamous of which features Trogdor, the Burninator, and serves as a perfect example of how far a simple question like, “Can you draw a dragon?” could blow up the internet in the hands of Strong Bad.
The world loved Homestar Runner, and references began popping up everywhere in pop culture, including a lot of people’s favorite: The Buffy crew meets Trogdor playing D&D.
While the site isn’t updating regularly any longer, Homestar Runner will live forever as an internet legend, and for all the right reasons.
Do yourself a favor and go check out the original site. Homestar Runner .net, it’s dot com! A lot of the videos are on YouTube now, but the original Flash site is still the best experience: You can see all of the splash screens, play all of the games, and get the added satisfaction of moving your mouse around while you watch cartoons, looking for any hidden clickable items for extra content.